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Saturday, July 4, 2009

cheating friend...

Dear. Chick,
My friend's husband is cheating on her. I am undecided as to whether I should tell her or not.
- worried -

Dear. Worried,

Well, there are a lot of unanswered ??'s here. Do you know for CERTAIN that he is cheating?? Do you have proof? If you go to your friend - I am sure she will want some sort of certainty regarding this matter. Also, how CLOSE are you with this friend? If this is merely an acquaintance then maybe you should just try and put it out of your head. If this is a close friend - it's a little more difficult. A lot of people ask themselves 'what would I want to know?' and most people THINK they'd want to be told - however, a lot of people without realizing it - prefer to live in denial - especially if there is a marriage or children involved. There is also the issue that if you DO tell your friend - you risk losing the friendship - I guess that could also be the risk if you don't tell - it's a very hard space to be put in. If you feel you MUST tell.. maybe an anonymous letter would be a safer bet. Then the information is in the hands of your friend and she can decided how to handle it - and you are sort of removed. Hopefully you can just be there for whatever support she may need... good luck...